the diary

" my boyfriend and I, have been together for over 9 months, we've broken up once in that space of time, for 1 week and 6 days. Throughout that time, everything hurt and nothing mattered, and the only thing I thought made it easier were the tiny glimpses he took, just to look at me. Everyday I cried, and everyday I was sad, we did sort it out, obviously, but last night we had a bad argument, in which he responded to "is this going to end" with an "I don't know". It hurt because, losing him before was the worse feeling I'd ever had. And I'm pretty sure, that throughout everything, including the 3-5 weeks we saw each other, he's the one.

He's the only person who makes everything worth it. Being with him makes me forget all the bad things, and the arguments my family have, and he just makes things good again. But ever since his "i don't know", he's been off with me in texts, and telling me he's only annoyed because I'm worried. But don't I have that right to be? And I explain as to why I was worried; that I didn't want to lose him over something like this, and that he scared me when he said that.

But he continued to be off and blunt and I just feel like, perhaps, he doesn't want to be with me, but just can't say it. My friends, and his friends know he isn't that sort of person, so why am I so set up on that fact? I've tried thinking positive; putting my mind away from it - and he is ringing me tonight, and we're seeing one another on Wednesday - but, it still frightens me to lose him. Because all of my happiness will go. I hadn't been happy in 6 years because of my grandad's death, and he made everything perfect.

He's my brightest star. Please help me. How do I stop being so stupid and worried...  "
a diary from a girl ..
aw..i think it hurts so much >.<
so appreciate what you have today :) and everytime .